Rafael Nadal knocked out in first round at Wimbledon
Tuesday 25 June 2013
Rafael Nadal knocked out in first round at Wimbledon
"I’ve had sex with 370 men" Nigerian woman Seyi Kolade reveals
And this was not a chance encounter, for Seyi was a sex addict and it was what she did almost every day for 13 years. Last night she said: “Sex addiction took hold of my life.”
Seyi, 35, was just 17 when she became dependent on sleeping with men. By 19 she'd had 40 partners and she says she has bedded a shocking total of 370 men.
Her dangerous addiction led her to a life of destruction - catching sexually transmitted infections, being evicted from her home and having two terminations.
She explains says: “Sex addiction is something people associate with men, but it took hold of my life for more than 13 years.
“It was a craving and a fear of how I’d feel if I couldn’t get it.
“Once I did, it was a huge relief, like a weight was lifted.
“It’s like any addiction. It made me selfish, self-destructive and depressed but it was a cycle I couldn’t escape.”
She adds: “I lost my virginity when I was 13 with my first boyfriend.
“I was shocked when I fell pregnant. I gave birth when I was 14. It was a very difficult time.”
Social services arranged a nanny to look after her daughter, Sarah, from six weeks old.
Being a young mum scarred Seyi’s childhood. She says: “I moved out of home when I was 16 with Sarah and lived in a mother and baby unit. I felt terribly lonely. I craved affection, I was miserable.”
Moving into a housing association home at 17, Seyi met then-boyfriend Paul, 31.
It was now that she began to use sex to replace her feelings of loneliness.
She says: “When I started having sex with my boyfriend I thought it was the answer and would stop me feeling so lonely. But it wasn’t enough.”
Going to bars, Seyi, from Birmingham, cheated on Paul at least once a week with strangers or men she would meet regularly.
She says: “I needed sex and afterwards it was a relief. When I couldn’t have sex my confidence would plummet, I felt ugly and went into a spiral of upset and frustration, feeling unworthy and needing another fix as soon as possible.”
Seyi fell pregnant at 17 with son, Andrew. She says: “I told Paul it was his although there was some doubt in my mind. After I gave birth I tried to stay faithful. I wanted sex with him four to five times a day, but the attention from him wasn’t enough.
“When the pent-up sexual frustration became too much, I’d go elsewhere and get validation through sex.
“I cheated on him three times in six months, then fell pregnant again.”
Devastated and unable to look after another child, Seyi made the decision to have her baby terminated.
She says: “It wasn’t fair on the child to have them. I didn’t know whose baby it was so I didn’t tell Paul. I wanted our relationship to work but we split up when I was 19.”
Seyi’s heartbreak made her sex addiction go wild. She says: “The only cure for my loneliness was sex. I had five guys I could meet with for sex when I wanted and was also sleeping with strangers. I’d go to bars and easily pick one up. Being good in bed made me feel worthy.”
By 22 Seyi had caught chlamydia twice. Going out almost every night while her children were looked after by friends and family, all she could think about was sex.
She says: “Between the ages of 22 to 30, life was a blur, my addiction had taken over.
“I was sleeping with five to six men, or meeting strangers for sex at bars weekly. I fell pregnant again at 26. I felt I had no choice but to have a termination. I got drunk and had sex After the procedure.
“I don’t know how I managed to keep my job as a management consultant. I took lots of sick days when I craved sex and couldn’t face the office. I even slept with a colleague.
“I was evicted for not paying rent when I was 29 and had to send my children to live with my family.”
While staying with a friend Seyi saw the documentary The Secret, about the laws of attraction. She says: “I knew I had a problem but never stopped to think about being a sex addict. I realised I needed help.”
After quitting her job to concentrate on her recovery Seyi, then 31, went to an addiction meeting.
She says: “There were six others there and when I listened to their stories it cured my nerves. I didn’t stop craving sex straight away but cut down slowly.” Since August 2009 she has been celibate.
She says: “I’m so proud of myself. I’ve craved sex but the programme lets me know the trigger signs.
“I don’t plan on having sex any time soon. If the right guy comes along and I feel I’m in a stable, loving relationship, I’d feel safe to do it. I have my children back living with me and feel I’m no longer a sex addict.
“I’d hate to think where my life would be now if I hadn’t sought help.”
Despite her recovery, Seyi lives with the guilt of her addiction. She says: “I could have passed on STIs, I had two terminations and my kids didn’t have the attention they deserved.
“I’ve now trained as an inspirational speaker and happiness advocate. At workshops and seminars I can help others understand what sex addiction is, where it comes from and recovery.
“Being celibate has given me my life back. I want to help others do the same.”
Photos: Check out D'banj's $25, 000 Suit of Money
Photos: Check out D'banj's $25, 000 Suit of Money
Don Jazzy donates N1m to OJB, calling on other artistes to please do same
Don Jazzy donates N1m to OJB, calling on other artistes to please do same
Now calling on other artists to please do same. OJB Jezreel needs N15million for a kidney transplant in India. This guy has done so much for music in Nigeria and had helped so many Nigerian artists achieve success. Now is the time to give back.
To donate, see the account details: Babatunde Okungbowa. UBA - 1015075120. Thanks
Femi Kuti pictured with Common at concert in New York City
Femi Kuti pictured with Common at concert in New York City
Rapper Ice Prince defends record labels in Nigeria
Rapper Ice Prince defends record labels in Nigeria
TV personality Mo Abebe shows off bikini body
Photos from comedian Elenu's white wedding to Chinwe Anyanwu
Not again! Kelly Hansome rekindles beef with MI, disses him on Twitter
"I really really loved Iyanya '- Yvonne Nelson reveals in new interview
"I really really loved Iyanya '- Yvonne Nelson reveals in new interview
The Ghanaian actress had a very revealing interview with Bella Naija today where she opened up about her relationship with Iyanya and how much he hurt her. Excerpts:
More when you continue...BN: How long did the two of you date and how would you describe the relationship?BN: Is this actress you’re talking about actually Tonto Dikeh?
YN: We dated for 7 to 8 months. We had something and I thought it was special, like he was a wonderful guy but it was all lies. He had other girls and other things he was doing. Aside the actress that was in the picture, there were a lot more. That is how bad it is. We were in a relationship and he lied throughout and he was able to do all those things because I wasn’t living in Nigeria. But aside from the distance, I feel if you’re a genuine person and you’re loyal, you would still not do that.
YN: I feel it’s disrespectful to start mentioning other people’s names. I am talking about Iyanya because we had a thing, I don’t want to bring in a third person. There were a lot of names that people know. There was a girl from South Africa, I’m not going to mention names but she was part of Big Brother Africa last year.
BN: Most people only got to know that you and Iyanya were dating after you broke up. Were you deliberately being secretive about it?
YN: I also don’t believe in putting my relationships in the faces of people. We both had our careers and were trying to protect our fan base and that’s cool. But if you go through my Instagram page, you’d see a couple of pictures of us together. I wasn’t shy about anything but he could not say he’s dating Yvonne Nelson because he had different people he was seeing so it was very hard for him to bring it out.
BN: What did the experience teach you?
YN: There are some things that you don’t get to learn in school; people can’t advice you, you won’t even listen. You just have to experience it to learn. I have no regrets that I went through it, it would have happened anyway. We are all human beings. We fall in love once in a while but if it doesn’t work out, that’s OK.
BN: Have you moved on since then?
YN: I have! It happened last year but I’ve moved on. I’ve been working hard, been producing movies. I still listen to his music, I love his album. I love the Track 1 with MI and I love, ‘I Got It’. He is a very talented guy, I always have goose bumps on my body when he sings.
BN: Aside from the music, what else was the attraction?
YN: You can’t really explain when you love somebody. It’s everything. It was just something that I felt and I can’t explain. It was love, I really really loved him and he knows that.
BN: How do you feel about him now and what message would you like to pass on to him if you had the chance?
YN: Iyanya is such an amazing person but I just feel he needs to be more honest and be a man of his words. It’s not good if he takes advantage of women. My Mum always says any man who takes advantage of women won’t end up well. It’s Karma, it’s going to come back to you. He should treat women fairly and he should be an honest person. It’s been a while though, I haven’t seen him. He is doing amazing things in his career and I wish him luck.
YN: Iyanya is such an amazing person but I just feel he needs to be more honest and be a man of his words. It’s not good if he takes advantage of women. My Mum always says any man who takes advantage of women won’t end up well. It’s Karma, it’s going to come back to you. He should treat women fairly and he should be an honest person. It’s been a while though, I haven’t seen him. He is doing amazing things in his career and I wish him luck.
You can read the full interview on Bella Naija
Chika Ike made ambassador for National Commission for Refugee & Displaced Persons
Chika Ike made ambassador for National Commission for Refugee & Displaced Persons
In Chika's new role, she will help contribute to the vital process of finding solutions for refugee and displaced persons. United nations is also involved and Chika will be officially unveiled tomorrow June 23rd at the World Refugee Day event taking place in Abuja. More photos after the cut...
We may drop out of school soon – Rolling Dollar’s children
According to the family of the late veteran high life musician, who died
June 12, Fatai Rolling Dollar didn't leave anything behind and now they
are worried about how to cater for his younger children, especially how
to keep them in school. Read the Punch report below...
The location was the Millennium Estate, Oko-Oba, Agege, Lagos residence of deceased highlife singer, Fatai Olagunju, otherwise called Rolling Dollar. His two wives, Zainab and Serifat, some of his children including Sikiru-who is the singer’s 50-year-old first son, wore a pensive mood as our correspondent walked into their home.
It was evident from their faces that they were yet to come to terms with the reality of the death of the 86-year-old songbird, Rolling Dollar, who breathed his last on June 12, coinciding with the 20th anniversary of the acclaimed “fairest and freest” election in Nigeria. The musician shot to stardom a few years back via a successful album, Won Kere si Number Wa. But despite his fame, the family is worried about the education of his younger children.
One of the children, Jamiu, told our
correspondent that he was still saddened by the death of his father,
expressing uncertainty over his future. He explained that he and his
other siblings would miss their father’s pieces of advice.
The young Olagunju regretted that his late father was unable to fulfil the promise he made to him concerning his education.
Jamiu stated, “Anytime he was around, he
used to advise us on things we should do and the ones we should avoid.
He promised me that he would make sure I studied up to university level.
It is unfortunate that when my father was making the promise, he did
not know that he would die this year.”
He added that when the news of his
father’s death was broken to him, the first thing he remembered was the
promise he made to him, regarding his university education.
“When I was told about his death, I
remembered what he promised me. I also thought about my education. It is
my desire to be a singer like my father but I want to go to school
first. To honour my father, I will take to music someday. He became
popular as a highlife singer but I want to be a hip-hop artiste,” he
added.
Rolling Dollar might have arrived on the
big stage late in life but his works were recognised by highlife
lovers, music buffs and fellow musicians. After his death, President
Goodluck Jonathan was one of many notable individuals who praised the
good work of the late singer. Zainab, who had just finished saying her
prayers, told SUNDAY PUNCH that she was yet to believe that her
husband had left her forever. She recalled that she married the musician
after her first marriage failed, adding that Rolling Dollar was yet to
hit the stardom when he married her.
She said, “I was staying with an aunt at
Olorunsogo, Mushin area of Lagos about 13 years ago when I met him. I
used to see him pass by but I did not know that he had interest in me. I
was a bit sick when he called me on a Sunday. He jokingly asked me if I
would not mind preparing Ramadan food for him because it was the
fasting period. He later noticed some patches at both corners of my
mouth, indicating that I had been sick. I told him I had used some drugs
but he insisted on buying some more for me.”
Zainab said the musician did not even
stop at that. According to her, he also prepared rice and asked one of
his children to take some to her house.
She added, “I later learnt that the year
he met me was exactly three years after the death of his wife, who left
three children behind. We got married in 2001 and I promised to take
care of the children for him. His caring and honest nature drew me to
him.”
She further stated that the family was
apprehensive of how to cater for the children of the late artiste, who
she said, did not leave anything behind. Zainab appealed to his fans to
stand by them at their moment of grief.
Rolling Dollar’s younger wife, Serifat,
who said she bore a boy and a girl for the deceased singer, also
reiterated that their husband did not leave any money to train their
children.
When the highlife maestro was alive,
Serifat said he cared so much for the children and would do anything to
make them happy. But his death seemed to have caught her and the rest of
the family unawares.
“Our husband did not leave any money. We
hope his fans and government will stand by us. The major challenge we
are facing right now is how to ensure that our children continue their
education. I am a businesswoman and I only survive on the little profit I
make,” she stated.
Rolling Dollar’s eldest child, Sikiru, who said he left the Nigerian Educational and Development Council in 1996, told SUNDAY PUNCH that he left his father at seven.
He stated that he was unhappy because of
the inability to see his father before he died, adding that he was also
sick when he was informed about his ill-health.
Sikiru said, “My father is one man that I
like so much. I live at Ikenne in Ogun State. I was so sad when I was
told that he was ill because I was also indisposed at the time. I
thought that his sickness was not something serious because he was a
strong man until I was told of the urgent need to see him. Apart from my
sickness, I was also broke but I pleaded that those around him,
especially his wives, should take good care of him. Immediately I was
strong enough to move around, I set out for Lagos to see him but it was
unfortunate that he died before I could reach him. I was on the road
when I received the call about his death.”
Sikiru however eulogised his father’s
virtues, saying he was happy that God gave the family a wonderful father
who never maltreated his children
“My father taught us never to misbehave,
steal or look down on anybody. These are some of the virtues I imbibed
from him and I am happy to say that the lessons are of great value to
me. They have assisted my journey in life.”
Although 50-year-old Sikiru left his
father a long time ago, he said that he once followed him to a music
show in Port Novo, Benin Republic. He also said he visited him at
regular intervals and that during some of the visits, he watched his
rehearsals.
“He was a great performer. He was lively
on the stage despite his age and his sense of humour during
performances drew a large followership to him,” said Sikiru.
Folk singer, Segun Akinlolu, otherwise
known as Beautiful Nubia, described the late entertainer as a colourful
and youthful character who was always full of joy and life. Nubia said
each time he met the deceased artiste, he would give him a big hug and
pray for him.
“He was full of appreciation for our
music and called himself my ‘Number One Fan.’ He loved playing music and
each time he climbed the stage, he thrilled fans in a special way.
Nobody wanted Rolling Dollar to leave the stage. The last time I spoke
with him was a couple of months back. He appeared more subdued than
usual but we discussed his participation in this year’s Eniobanke Music Festival. It’s sad the he will not be there but we shall celebrate him at the festival,” Nubia said.
The Oh! What A Feeling singer
added that as Rolling Dollar was being remembered by friends and fans,
it was crucial for his legacy to be protected and sustained. He stated
that every artist is a blessing to the society and their passing should
always be met with positive reflection and honest effort to continue
their works and times in the collective memory of all.
On Thursday, the eight-day Fidau prayer
was held for Rolling Dollar who was buried in his house located in
Imaya, Ikorodu area of Lagos State. As sympathisers continue to call on
the family to commiserate with them, how to secure the future of the
children the artiste left behind is now the major concern.
The late singer was said to have been
wrongly diagnosed of malaria at the first hospital where he was taken
to. Another hospital in Surulere initially reportedly diagnosed him with
pneumonia. But after looking into his medical history, especially the
record from a US hospital where he was first treated before returning
home from his last trip a few weeks ago, further diagnoses revealed he
had cancer of the lungs.
Pa Dollar’s many wives and final wish
The musician married five wives and had
nine children. Two women who were with him until his death gave birth to
four of the children. The eldest of the four children is aged 12 and he
is in primary five. His first son said the late singer pampered his
children.
“My father would go to any length to
ensure the comfort of his children,” he said, recalling how he showered
him with gifts as the only child of his mother.
He added that the late entertainer used
to buy gifts from Domino stores in Lagos whenever he was returning from a
show a long time ago. He also created time to take his children to his
hometown in Ede, Osun State, before his death. Sikiru said his father
would fight any of his wives that beat his children.
One of the wives, Zainab, said she could
not fulfil the final wish of the late singer. Narrating Rolling
Dollar’s frantic effort to see his children before his death, Zainab
said he begged her to bring the children to him when he was at a
hospital in Surulere, Lagos. She said she was taking the children to him
the next day when she was told that he had passed on.
SUNDAY PUNCH also learnt that the late
singer never allowed women to cook his food till he died. One of his
wives said he took that decision to avoid being served a meal that
didn’t have the taste he wanted.
His two wives said he was not a rich man
in terms of monetary value, but he was wealthy when one considers the
name he left behind, his prestige and character. They said he had no
money in the bank but he was always happy when he began to sing.
Two weeks before his death, our
correspondent was at his Oko-Oba residence to interview him. It was
exactly three days after his return from the music tour of the US and as
he slept on a mat in his sitting room, he told our correspondent that
he was too sick to grant the interview that was earlier scheduled for
that day.
Vast of Bracket shows off his toned abs in new photos
Vast of Bracket shows off his toned abs in new photos
Train and truck collide in Lagos
Real Housewives of Atlanta star, Kenya Moore to host D'banj's b'day
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)